i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
