I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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