At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize