eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
As shirtless as possible
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
