we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
