Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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