who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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