so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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