All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
