Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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