Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
