It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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