Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
