Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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