My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
