I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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