okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
