dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
