At least make sure they are 18
Why
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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