I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
My Sexting was not on an AP level
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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