turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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