I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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