I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
