She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Randomize
