I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
