ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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