i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
