I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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