White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
