no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
