And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
