thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I am mentally ready for anal.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
