I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He? As in you personified your dick?
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