oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
