are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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