You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
