that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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