ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
