So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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