If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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