I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
