Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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