She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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