Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
