It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
