One girl and one boy is just not enough.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
