This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
