I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
