Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I understand Curling. That high.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I'm at about main and main street
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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