Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Randomize
