Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
