It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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