You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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