So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
