in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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