Got a toothbrush?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize