it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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