what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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