Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99

  (415): View more from California

  Recession joke.

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  (415): Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99 (415): Recession joke. http://tfl.nu/0g53
  Replies (10) Good night (3338) Bad night (916)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...

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  (630): i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college... http://tfl.nu/0xsv
  Replies (33) Good night (3188) Bad night (891)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.

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  (850): come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants. http://tfl.nu/d477
  Replies (14) Good night (772) Bad night (3595)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  maybe i'll see you again later :)

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I'd rather shit a knife.

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  (612): maybe i'll see you again later :) (774): I'd rather shit a knife. http://tfl.nu/qge0
  Replies (50) Good night (2068) Bad night (11206)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch

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  (516): Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch http://tfl.nu/s2ci
  Replies (10) Good night (4643) Bad night (871)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do

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  (713): in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do http://tfl.nu/zxnc
  Replies (7) Good night (2112) Bad night (704)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room

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  (406): don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room http://tfl.nu/gche
  Replies (2) Good night (483) Bad night (820)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see

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  (512): I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see http://tfl.nu/ic6l
  Replies (6) Good night (944) Bad night (603)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...

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  (412): Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation... http://tfl.nu/ehdf
  Replies (4) Good night (1487) Bad night (606)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad

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  (812): Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad http://tfl.nu/owz5
  Replies (5) Good night (856) Bad night (578)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.

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  (979): Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log. http://tfl.nu/tdyo
  Replies (3) Good night (525) Bad night (965)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time

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  (603): You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time http://tfl.nu/9oit
  Replies (1) Good night (683) Bad night (334)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...

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  (512): I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously... http://tfl.nu/ew5g
  Replies (0) Good night (529) Bad night (345)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.

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  (306): I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck. http://tfl.nu/lhcb
  Replies (0) Good night (683) Bad night (338)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".

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  (774): Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs". http://tfl.nu/b7z8
  Replies (2) Good night (131) Bad night (375)

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