ADVERTISEMENT

• (212): View more from New York

  Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed

  Fav 4 1431 1679

  share tweet
  

• (708): View more from Illinois

  I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is

  Fav 2 1506 698

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (647): View more from Ontario

  I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum

  Fav 32 988 4247

  share tweet
  

• (563): View more from Iowa

  he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes

  Fav 22 1686 5364

  share tweet
  
• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time

  Fav 11 3705 1418

  share tweet
  

• (514): View more from Quebec

  You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club

  Fav 3 2018 1204

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (775): View more from Nevada

  I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life

  Fav 1 1719 1095

  share tweet
  

• (819): View more from Quebec

  I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.

  Fav 8 2857 739

  share tweet
  

• (806): View more from Texas

  Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there

  Fav 5 946 666

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (812): View more from Indiana

  im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet

  Fav 3 700 627

  share tweet
  

• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.

  Fav 3 987 544

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.

  Fav 2 738 428

  share tweet
  

• (647): View more from Ontario

  The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.

  Fav 2 756 424

  share tweet
  

• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.

  Fav 1 34 57

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (847): View more from Illinois

  This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.

  Fav 3 16 74

  share tweet
  

Randomize