I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine