So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
why do cheetos always look like penises
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Randomize
