Texts From Last Night

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  (305): View more from Florida

  We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.

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  (305): We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction. http://tfl.nu/e3vr
  Replies (33) Good night (843) Bad night (5604)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.

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  (504): Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon. http://tfl.nu/mwyy
  Replies (19) Good night (1201) Bad night (4259)
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  (626): View more from California

  that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.

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  (626): that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress. http://tfl.nu/stra
  Replies (21) Good night (744) Bad night (5095)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.

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  (571): She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that. http://tfl.nu/q72a
  Replies (24) Good night (1546) Bad night (3685)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.

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  (919): dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets. http://tfl.nu/v2g2
  Replies (40) Good night (4860) Bad night (796)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.

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  (303): Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call. http://tfl.nu/oew3
  Replies (5) Good night (3372) Bad night (917)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.

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  (979): Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction. http://tfl.nu/hu5n
  Replies (11) Good night (4048) Bad night (917)
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  (438): View more from Quebec

  My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.

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  (438): My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much. http://tfl.nu/ekca
  Replies (8) Good night (3320) Bad night (797)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.

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  (814): Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one. http://tfl.nu/o44o
  Replies (5) Good night (2567) Bad night (852)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?

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  (910): Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares? http://tfl.nu/w5f4
  Replies (16) Good night (662) Bad night (1510)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him

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  (609): His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him http://tfl.nu/rlb9
  Replies (6) Good night (1416) Bad night (438)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.

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  (325): I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible. http://tfl.nu/vgf8
  Replies (2) Good night (563) Bad night (1152)
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.

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  (985): I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic. http://tfl.nu/92jk
  Replies (2) Good night (637) Bad night (590)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?

  (716): View more from New York

  If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love

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  (716): Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you? (716): If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love http://tfl.nu/boug
  Replies (1) Good night (870) Bad night (349)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road

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  (814): Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road http://tfl.nu/0xhz
  Replies (3) Good night (774) Bad night (227)

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