Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?