Whod you bang
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
In America we eat man semen.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.