Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I can't watch pbs sober anymore

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  (617): I can't watch pbs sober anymore http://tfl.nu/lnl5
  Replies (2) Good night (919) Bad night (505)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch

  (740): View more from Ohio

  enter at your own risk

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  (917): I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch (740): enter at your own risk http://tfl.nu/z8ud
  Replies (5) Good night (2507) Bad night (873)
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  (949): View more from California

  even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that

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  (949): even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that http://tfl.nu/ftma
  Replies (29) Good night (604) Bad night (4427)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky

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  (401): i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky http://tfl.nu/0cqb
  Replies (27) Good night (3079) Bad night (1111)
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  (607): View more from New York

  The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.

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  (607): The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again. http://tfl.nu/rkzi
  Replies (27) Good night (6237) Bad night (816)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.

  (1-479): View more from Arkansas

  You got my ass fired just for knowing you

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  thanks for the bacon

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  (479): You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment. (1-479): You got my ass fired just for knowing you (479): thanks for the bacon http://tfl.nu/zw0i
  Replies (19) Good night (5564) Bad night (1355)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.

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  (336): You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed. http://tfl.nu/cedv
  Replies (101) Good night (9852) Bad night (1162)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.

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  (301): A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero. http://tfl.nu/wa7o
  Replies (17) Good night (5038) Bad night (687)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good

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  (646): last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good http://tfl.nu/h7gj
  Replies (16) Good night (1930) Bad night (933)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.

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  (832): Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away. http://tfl.nu/sac9
  Replies (1) Good night (943) Bad night (548)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."

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  (773): i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations." http://tfl.nu/7d4e
  Replies (7) Good night (563) Bad night (962)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me

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  (516): I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me http://tfl.nu/lsz4
  Replies (16) Good night (2924) Bad night (580)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show

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  (775): Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show http://tfl.nu/uyql
  Replies (4) Good night (1227) Bad night (318)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.

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  (501): My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone. http://tfl.nu/7x1i
  Replies (6) Good night (1671) Bad night (425)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.

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  (440): all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers. http://tfl.nu/lyvi
  Replies (2) Good night (770) Bad night (243)

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