nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
