It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
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I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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