Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
