Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
