She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up