She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
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She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
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Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex